The Oyster Murders
by Lady NeverAfterNon
Summary: After a long, long time, it was finally time to return home.  Only home may not be so safe. A/H pairing, please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Author' s Note:** _ I used Burton's film mainly, but I also drew from the main book Alice in Wonderland, and American McGee's Alice. Great game. Anyway, reread Alice in Wonderland and decided to dust off this fic and continue it. Please let me know what you think!_

**Disclaimer:**_I own nothing._

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**The Oyster Murders**

**By: **_Lady Neverafternon_

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**I.**

_China, 7 Years Later_

Alice leaned her head against the rail of the cramped wooden balcony and coughed quietly. The cold that had settled in her lungs like a malignant toad still showed no signs of lifting. Taking a deep shuddering breath, she straightened. At the very least, however, the company that she and her father had both struggled to build was flourishing. Indeed, her vision of trading with China had seemed to take wing on its own. The Ascot-Kingsleigh Trading Alliance had become well known and respected throughout Europe and Persia. Alice and Lord Ascot had worked hard to become the primary trade company in Shanghai. Now, her apprenticeship had changed to a respected partnership within the company, and they were even thinking about stretching their reach to Moscow.

Years and years of hard work, but it had all been worth it. Not only had her business prospects paid off, but her work at home had also come to fruition. Thanks to her success in the company she had been able to provide for both her mother and her sister. Lowell's true colors had eventually shown, as Alice had known they would, and her sister had come home after three years of unhappy marriage. Such a thing was usually unheard of, but the family could afford to not care and that was a thing that Alice was truly grateful for. Lowell had been a slug to begin with anyway.

Another harsh coughing fit interrupted her reverie. Alice felt her heart like a lump in her throat when she saw that her white handkerchief had come away spotted in blood. No matter how she chose to look at it, to make light of the situation, her sickness was getting worse. Taking another breath, she looked out over the dark night covering the city of Shanghai. The night did not seem to hinder the movement of the city in the slightest. Shouts, smells, and noises all drifted up to her small hotel balcony. Try as she might Alice could not bring herself to take much notice of them. The lights of the city seemed to swing before her eyes and she blinked blearily.

Maybe it was time to go home. The last of the post she had received from her mother reprimanded her for allowing her health to deteriorate, and implored her to return home now that their family's station was secure.

She pushed off sluggishly from the rail and stumbled back into her room. She didn't even make it to her cot before she dropped to the floor, unconscious.

She didn't hear the enraged shouts of a tea merchant below her room, angrily fending off an oddly dressed hobo as he poked through the man' s wares. She didn't see the two pudgy children nicking some of his tea while he was otherwise occupied with the crazy hobo. She didn't see a fat gray tabby dancing through and biting at the strange man's ankles, and she most definitely didn't see the startling green of his rather large eyes as he turned to look up at her balcony.

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II.

The first thing Alice was aware of was that she was warm and content and at peace for the first time in a long, long time. She decided firmly that she was not quite willing to wake up and as such kept her eyes closed, determined to savor the feeling of comfort. She soon was aware of an arm firmly supporting her head, and a cup filled with a hot spicy smelling liquid at her lips. Curious, but acceptable.

As she slowly sipped at the liquid, which turned out to be a strong sort of apple spice tea, she thought about the arm supporting her. It was by no means small, which ruled out her tiny land lady who spoke only Cantonese and came once or twice a week to clean her room. The arm certainly had no trouble supporting her head and her heavy mass of blond hair. Alice frowned, wondering whether she should panic or not. The arm and the other arm which was presumably being used to feed her tea were not causing harm, but...

Then the murmur of voices sounded from the room and the rumble of the voice above her, obviously male and strangely familiar, answered them. Okay, there were a good deal many persons unknown in her room, disregard the fact that they were oddly familiar and they were feeding her tea, it was time to panic.

Alice's eyes shot open and she flung the bed covers off and was halfway across the room when she stumbled and fell. The cold floor was a nasty shock and she lay there shivering. She felt two sets of whiskers tickling her face, and she felt many hands lifting her up.

"Easy, you don't want to be hurtin' yourself when you only just started to mend."

Alice looked up. She would know that thick Scottish brogue anywhere. Sure enough, a pair of large green eyes were staring concernedly down at her. She smiled. She knew that dear, dear face.

"Hatter," she whispered, her fingers reaching up to touch his cheek.

He ducked his head so that his face reached her hand the sooner, and his forehead rested against hers and his eyes slid closed. For a moment it was only the two of them in the world.

"Hey, lookit, she' s okay."

"Yeah, I said she was-"

"No you didn't!"

"Did!"

"Didn't!"

"Boys," Alice said, her voice rasping pitifully in her chest.

She raised her head from the Hatter' s arms, and turned to look at her dear friends. Tweedledee and Tweedledum quit smacking each other and watched her concernedly, and the Dormouse who had been dancing about their feet stopped to push more tea at her. Alice frowned. All was not quite as she remembered it.

Her Tweedles were decidedly thinner than she recalled, and younger. Dressed in baggy smocks, she would have hardly recognized them from the hundreds of urchins in Shanghai if she had run into them on the street. The Dormouse was now a small, regular mouse size, and it was not proudly brandishing its rapier nor wearing its smart frock. Indeed, it was on all fours and twitching its whiskers at her, clearly thinking about eating her packet of tea.

A loud purring drew her attention to the fat gray tabby who had been winding about her ankles, and as Alice peered closely the cat seemed to have a grin on its wide furry face. The Cheshire Cat grinned up at her, as much as he was able, and was clearly unable to speak.

Alice frowned, then turned to look at her Hatter, and was frightened to see that even he too was changed. His face was pale and drawn, and his short (it had not been that short!) hair much less orange than she recalled. His waistcoat was a drab black, and his boots were plain and warn and caked with mud. The only thing about him that Alice could say for sure was the same was his familiar hat. It seemed as though-

"You've lost your muchness," Alice whispered.

The Hatter smiled gently at her. "We had to change a bit to enter your world. The rules here are a bit different I'm afraid."

"You're not hurt?" Her eyes widened, and she struggled weakly to sit up.

The Hatter stroked her hair and carefully eased her back down.

"No, we're not at all hurt," he said lightly, "though it will not do for us to be here much longer. As you said, we are losing our muchness."

Alice lay back against his lap. She closed her eyes, trusting him to take care of her and to make the right choices. It was clearly his adventure this time around. She sighed.

"I want to go home," she said quietly as she drifted off.

The Hatter knew exactly what she meant. "Soon."

He lifted her effortlessly and carried her back to the bed. Alice felt herself be bundled up in the thick heavy quilt and the pillows plumped under her head.

"For now, lets get you well," the Hatter said. She slept.

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III.

When she woke again she discovered that the Hatter had not stirred from her side and the Dormouse and the Cheshire Cat lay sleeping across her knees. The Tweedles were nowhere to be seen.

She shifted, and the Hatter helped her to sit up. For a moment they sat there in companionable silence. Alice found that another cup of hot tea had been pushed into her hands, and sipping it she discovered it to be strawberry cake flavored.

"Curious," she murmured.

"Sorry?" the Hatter asked.

"Oh, nothing," she hastily amended, though after a second thought added, "this won't make me grow or shrink will it?"

The Hatter stared at her a moment, then peeled off into mad giggles that finally settled into a full hearted belly laugh. Alice thought it wonderful a wonderful laugh, and she smiled at her Hatter. He noticed her affectionate smile, and returned it.

"It was an honest question you know," Alice told him.

"Yes, yes I know. Still," the Hatter said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"Where are the Tweedles?" she asked, "I don't think it's a good idea for them to be off by themselves."

"They went to look for a suitable door home," the Hatter told her, his smile dropping.

Alice knew exactly why it did, too. She remembered the last time she was posed with this question. She made the choice to returned to the outside world, where she would finish the things she had set out to without a thought of whether she would be able to return. But now she was tired. Her mother and sister were safe with her pension she had set up and her debts to society had been met. Lord Ascot had enough of the plans to make her father's company a name to be reckoned with throughout the years to come. There was nothing left to hold her here.

"Hatter," she said, "You asked me once if I would stay in Wonderland. Is the offer-"

"Yes," he said simply.

Alice was so happy, she thought her heart would burst. Then a coughing fit interrupted the moment. Alice coughed so hard she thought her lungs would part company from her chest. She pulled the handkerchief away from her mouth but was surprised to see that it remained free of blood. She looked up at the Hatter questioningly.

The Hatter smiled slightly. "The White Queen," he said by way of explanation.

He pulled a purple vial out of his coat pocket and showed it to her. It was half full of a semi opaque white liquid. Alice stared at it a moment, then looked up at the Hatter.

"She spit in it didn't she," Alice said flatly.

"Yes indeed," the Hatter said cheerfully, "There's also Mock Turtle Tears, Gryphon feathers, pepper, crumpets, and newt lisps. Quite a powerful spell actually. I've been slipping it into your tea."

Alice shook her head, then held out her hand. "Let's have it."

The Hatter handed it over and Alice tossed the mixture back. She immediately began to feel better and she lay back against the pillows with a sigh.

"Thank you," she said, "for everything, for coming to get me."

The Hatter leaned forward, his luminous eyes on her face. "Always. Because you' re MY Alice. No matter where your muchness is, nor what size you are, or if we've disagreed about the tea things, you are my Alice and I will always come for you.

Alice couldn't help herself. She flung her arms about his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. He smelled like Earl Gray tea, potting soil, and a spicy zing that could only be her Hatter. She gripped him tight, his orange hair tickling her nose, afraid that he would disappear if she didn't hold on tight enough.

"I love you," she whispered, "I think you ought to know what you're getting into."

"I know. I love you too. It doesn't matter you know, we're both quite mad," the Hatter told her.

Alice pulled back, her nose inches from his, watching him. The Hatter studied her in all seriousness for a moment and he looked to be considering something. Then, he leaned forward and kissed her. Alice was stupefied for a moment, then her eyes slid shut and her hands snaked up his chest to grip the lapels of his waistcoat.

His mouth moved over hers and he was all that mattered to her in that moment. Kissing her Hatter, Alice decided, was nothing at all like kissing Hamish (the only other person she'd ever kissed). That had been a messy embarrassing affair that he'd instigated after she'd left his father's study, and he had received a box to his ears for his trouble. Hatter, however, was wonderful.

He kissed her in a gentle, considerate sort of way that made butterflies flutter in her stomach and tickle at her toes. They were still new at this kissing business, but Alice decided that there should be a good deal more practice in that area.

Alice smiled at him and opened her mouth to speak but the door opening interrupted her.

"Here now what were you doin'?"

"She's sick she is. What you doin' with her face?"

Alice and the Hatter turned to see Tweedledee and Tweedledum staring at them with equal expressions of suspicion.

"Sorry, I shall not disturb the patient any longer," the Hatter said sheepishly, "did you find the door?"

"Yeah, it's the river it is," Tweedledee said proudly.

"That's what I said, the river." Tweedledum smacked him.

"No you didn't!"

"Did."

"Didn't."

Alice sighed, then gasped as the Hatter lifted her up effortlessly, down quilt and all. The Cheshire Cat and the Dormouse were quite affronted at being dumped on the floor but they soon got over it when they learned that the party was heading back to Wonderland. Alice wound her arms back about her Hatter's neck and pressed close. She was not entirely sure about the river part but decided to trust him with it. After all, he was more familiar with this sort of business than she was.

Within moments he had swept her out the door and into the night. The journey though Shanghai passed like a dream. Alice did not know whether it was from her sickness or whether they were traveling oddly, but they seemed to drift through the streets like ghosts. Though they certainly made an strange procession no one stopped them or commented. Indeed, it seemed like they were not even there.

Finally, they stood on the banks of the Yangtze River. Alice took a deep breath as she stared at the dark water. The Hatter watched her. The Cheshire Cat and the Dormouse trotted into the river and disappeared without a ripple. Tweedledee and Tweedledum did an odd little dance, tipped their hats, then walked into the water. Nary a ripple.

Alice looked up at her Hatter. "Let's go home."

He carried her and she went without fear into the dark river.

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IV.

A few months later Alice' s mother and sister got a letter. It looked like it had been through a war. (Quite literally it had, for the Hatter and the March Hare had got into a disagreement about the sugar). Jelly spotted the corners, and the writing was hastily smudged, though the Lady Duncan did see her daughter in that loopy carefree handwriting.

_Dear Mum,__  
__I am quite happy and I've found my way back to Wonderland. I'm not at all mad, well, perhaps a little. But don't worry, all the best people are you know.__  
__I don't know if I shall ever be coming back. Time is a tricky bugger, and he doesn't play nice on your side of the fence, which is why he' s been kicked out over here. But I'll try my best to come visit if I can. If not, please drop the post down the rabbit hole. You know the one.__  
__I don't know if it still works. The doors from this world and yours are often finicky. I shall miss you terribly._

_**All my love,**_**  
**_**ALICE**_

_**P.s. Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?**_


	2. Chapter 2 Unscrupulous Characters

**Author's Note:** _I debated a long time about whether to continue this, and I hope the idea works out and it won't turn into a long rambling epic, as I have the tendency to do. Please read and review, and let me know your thoughts on it! It helps me improve._

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing!_

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**Chapter 2:** Unscrupulous Characters

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Alice stared at her plate, frowning. A few crumbs littered the chipped blue china, a sad reminder of the glorious chocolate cake that had sat on the plate an hour earlier. She looked around the table: the Dormouse was having a sword fight with the Hatter, who was valiantly defending himself with a dented copper cup. The Mad Hare was keeping a crack score, screaming out points in between trying to swallow the contents of three teapots at once.

It was absolute madness, and she loved every bit of it.

"Oi!" she shouted, "The cake is gone!"

All three stopped and stared at her, and out of the three her Hatter looked the guiltiest. Alice fixed a mock glare on him and to her delight the Hatter skittered away from her gaze. She advanced on him, wagging a long silver tea spoon at him.

"Hatter I spent all afternoon on that cake, and," she said, poking him in the chest with the spoon, "It was _meant for the party_."

"It had strawberries on it!" he protested, grabbing a biscuit tray to ward her off.

"That makes no difference," she hissed at him, "Where am I to find cake? The guests will be here in minutes!"

Hatter's gaze suddenly steeled, and he dodge the spoon and swept her into his arms, dipping her low. "I love you," he said, a thick Scottish brogue coloring his speech.

Alice's cheeks pinkened and she pressed a kiss to his mouth which he reciprocated, planting feather butterfly touches from her mouth down her jaw and finally to nibble at her ear. She laughed. Alice's hands snaked into wiry orange hair and she pulled him back to her so she could kiss him properly. She was soaring somewhere in the stratosphere when something sharp jabbed her ankle. Alice looked down to find the Dormouse glaring up at her with large black eyes and a twitching nose.

"He's distracting you," the Dormouse shouted, "He ate your cake."

Alice grinned. "Oh I'm aware, but I can't say that I object to the distractions."

The Dormouse rolled her eyes in exasperation but didn't argue the matter further. Alice planted a kiss on the Hatter's nose, then disentangled herself from his grasp and went back to the house.

"I suppose," she muttered, hiking up her skirts and ascending the stairs, "That the tea biscuits will have to do."

She had been planning this party for weeks. Since the defeat of the Red Queen, Wonderland had been healing itself with great speed in much the manner Alice would have expected of it: with weird games and downright curiousness behavior. When the Hatter had carried her back from China she'd returned to a Wonderland that was oddly different from the trips she remembered. Wonderland under the rules of the Red Queen had left it not necessarily in shambles, but still scarred. The White Queen's efforts at healing her subjects were evident, and as soon as Alice was well enough she had paid her respects to the Queen and offered her services to help.

Alice had been expecting at the very least some sort of restoration project, but the White Queen had put her in charge of the Tuesday Footraces. The games had been just as wild and rule-less as she had anticipated. The players had made up their own rules as they raced along and most of it seemed to be preventing whomever was in the lead from reaching the finish line. Several frogs had been close to winning many times but the Dormouse and the Gryphon had teamed up to trip them whenever they'd got too close.

Alice had rewarded them all with the contents of a stainless steel can marked '_Hatter's Best Tea_' in her dear Hatter's squirrely handwriting, but the contents had proven to be not tea at all but a very potent Scottish whiskey. They drank it anyway. Alice remembered quite fondly the bonfire that they had built and they way she and the Hatter had danced around it with the rest of Wonderland's slightly tipsy denizens. Her heart had been lighter than a bird and being in his arms that night had been one of the happiest moments in her life. She had felt free like she never had before.

Alice entered the house that she shared with the Dormouse, the March Hare, and her Hatter. It was controlled chaos, as always. The Dormouse never could decide on which needle to use as a sword and so the floor was littered with sewing pins and needles. Out of habit she stepped around them and made her way to the kitchen. The March Hare was encouraged not to cook at all, but sometimes he got in when they weren't looking. Today was one of those times judging by the green splotches of goo dripping from the ceiling. Alice sighed and began to debate in her head how she was to trick him into cleaning it up. If he thought it was a game he might be wheedled into scrubbing something.

She snatched up the biscuit tin on her way back out to the table.

The guests were already beginning to arrive: Bayard and his mate and all of his pups were already romping around the clearing. The puppies were batting at the Bandersnatch who was having non of it and trying to nap. Alice wished him luck with it. Bayard's pups were nothing if not persistent. The White Queen had arrived with a full entourage and she was directing her chess piece servants as to where they should set up the huge platters of food they'd brought with them. The Cheshire Cat was rolling around the garden from guest to guest like a purple cat shaped balloon that had gotten away from its owner, only without the rude noise. Tweedledee and Tweedledum were arguing hotly over their biscuits, about what though she had no idea.

Alice smiled fondly. This was her family, each and every one of them and she would have them no other way.

Hatter, having lit the trademark bonfire out of the remains of the March Hare's destroyed chairs, made his way towards her. Alice watched him walk and she loved him from his frizzy orange hair and brilliant green eyes to his scuffed shoes. He watched her watch him and he grinned.

"Like whatcha see darlin?" the Hatter asked.

"I might, perhaps," Alice retorted, favoring him with a grin of her own.

"Cheeky gel."

"You wouldn't have me any other way."

"Aye, that I wouldn't lass."

They watched the guests cavort and laugh, having a grand old time. She rested her head on his shoulder and his arm looped around her waist. She was about to ask her Hatter to dance when a slow deep voice stopped her.

"Milady the White Queen tells me you're the one we have to thank for this fabulous bash."

Alice turned and peered over the Hatter's shoulder. A walrus in a velvet waistcoat with a expensive gold watch chain stood behind her clutching a ivory handled cane and a plate of cookies. Alice curtsied.

"I must admit to putting it together," she said, "I trust you're having a good time?"

He smiled oily at her, his bristly and substantial mustache wiggling as he chewed a sugared sweet. "Yes, yes of course, my dear. I wanted to introduce myself to the wielder of the Vorpal Sword. I am the Walrus."

Alice shook his flipper. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Yes well the cookies call. Ta ta for now, my dear."

The Walrus moved off towards to buffet table and Alice turned to the Hatter. "You're oddly quiet."

The Hatter's eyes had gone slightly orange. "It's not been proven, dear heart, but that undulating ulcer is suspected of being the crime boss that runs Wonderland's underbelly."

Alice narrowed her eyes at the Walrus's back. "Is that so?"

The Hatter spun her around playfully and she obliged him with a twirl. "No mysteries for you to sniff out tonight my dear. Favor me with a dance?" he asked.

Alice curtsied low. "It would be my pleasure, sir."

The Hatter spun her into his arms and they whirled around the fire with the rest of the dancers. There was no rhyme or reason to the steps and the dancers made them up as they went. The White Queen was doing a complicated waltz with Bayard who was balanced precariously on his hind paws. The Cheshire Cat's disembodied head was needling the Tweedles as they challenged each other to a complicated jig. Alice and her Hatter were attempting a tango, weaving in and around the others while dodging the sparks spat out from the fire.

Alice threw back her head and laughed. It was certainly a glorious night.

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_To be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3 An Untimely Demise

**Author's Note:** _Please read and review, your feedback is greatly appreciated!_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing._

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**Chapter 3:** An Untimely Demise

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Alice woke up, a pounding headache throbbing away in her skull. That was the absolute last time she would ever drink any of Hatter's special tea: Earl Grey with Bourbon in it. She clawed her way out of bed, getting in a fight with the duvet when it curled around her legs like a one tentacled octopus and tripped her up. She escaped the duvet with much cursing and hungover energy and made her way downstairs.

The ramshackle house she shared with Hatter, the Dormouse, and the March Hare was usually an untidy mess, but post-party it was an absolute wreck. Streamers littered the floors along with plates, broken party favors, and drinking glasses. Alice grumbled and began to clean up. She wanted to shout for her housemates, but yelling might make her head actually split open like it was threatening to.

An hour and several cups of strong, unspiked black tea later, the house was finally somewhat presentable. Alice had finished shoveling all of the burnable garbage into the kitchen fire and was finishing up the dishes when Hatter tromped in, followed by the Dormouse. Alice scowled at him, annoyed that the brunt of the house cleanup had been left to her.

Hatter seemed to sense the direction the wind was blowing in. "Good morning, Alice fair, I come bringing breakfast."

"The breakfast is outside," the Dormouse clarified, "In the yard which we spent all morning cleaning."

Alice was grateful that she hadn't nitpicked about the house. "Excellent. Join me then?"

"Of course, my dear, we only came to get you." The Hatter offered his arm and Alice took it, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"Sorry I was a snot," she whispered.

He looked perplexed. "But you weren't!"

"I was going to be."

"Ah, well, you're beautiful even when you're raging, sweet."

Alice pinched his cheek affectionately and the Hatter kissed her fingers.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, as most of the breakfasters were hungover and trying not to aggravate their splitting headaches. The March Hare passed out in the pudding, having drunk more than any of them. There was a lot of breakfast though, and for that Alice was most pleased. She loaded up her plate with eggs, bacon, hash browns, and a massive glob of cinnamon spiced applesauce. Hatter handed her a chipped china cup with blue calligraphy swirling along the edges and a mismatched saucer with purple vines. Alice took it happily; it was filled with tea, and that was the important part.

"Havvn breakfast then! Fancy some guests?"

"Them's havvn breakfast, obvious innit? Who says they'd want you for breakfast?"

"Shuddup."

"You first, yea?"

"Tweedles!" Alice called, interrupting the full blown rumble developing between the twins.

They looked at her rather abashed, though Tweedledee gave his brother one last good pinch. Hatter chuckled and began filling more plates, making sure the teapot was within easy reach.

"Come join us," Alice offered, waving a hash brown at them.

The Tweedles needed no prodding and they waded into the breakfast war with a will. Between them they had several servings of eggs and Hatter had to practically fend them off of the bacon with his teacup. The March Hare woke up long enough to scream something about ill mannered pigeons before falling back asleep in the pudding.

"Ere now," Tweeledum said, after stealing the last of Hatter's badly defended bacon, "Didja hear?"

"Hear wot?" Tweedledee asked.

"Not you dummy, Alice."

"Hear what?" Alice echoed.

"Bout the murders," both Tweedles chorused.

Alice put down her teacup. The Hatter trained a slightly orange gaze on the two twins.

"What murders?" Alice asked, setting down her teacup.

The Tweedles were a good deal more quiet when they saw that they now had the undivided attention of the entire table, minus the March Hare of course who was still unconscious. "Well, an entire orphanage was murdered last night, only thing left wos them shells," Tweedledum said.

"Yea, horrible innit?" Tweedledee put in, shaking his round head.

"That's awful!" Alice gasped, "Do they know who did it?"

"I imagine if they did," the Hatter murmured, "We would be hearing an entirely different story."

Alice ferociously speared another egg. She was positively incensed that the fragile peace that had finally been given to Wonderland was so soon disturbed. Perhaps the Red Queen was behind it all? It couldn't possibly be, she was banished. Alice frowned. If the murderers weren't caught, she was going to catch them herself and beat them to death with whatever was handy. The Vorpal Sword had gone back to the White Queen's castle, but Alice was reasonably sure that the Queen would let her borrow it if it were for a good cause.

As the group devoured the remainder of breakfast, each debilitating on the dire news, a white horseman entered the lawn. The Bishop road a horse just as pristine as his marble body, and in his hand he clutched a scroll embossed with the White Queen's official seal. He handed the scroll to Alice who took it somberly. The Bishop raised his hand to them in farewell, and left as quickly as he had come.

"What's it say?" Hatter asked, prodding the March Hare awake.

"PIGEONS!" the March Hare screamed.

"It's an official missive from the Queen," Alice murmured, scanning it, "She won't say in her letter; she wants us to meet with her."

The Hatter sighed. "I thought as much. We should probably pack lots of tea, it will be a long journey walking."

"Yes," Alice said nodding, "Though not quite so long. I shall be the proper size this time at least."

Hatter chuckled. "Though no hat rides for you, sweet. Hold the table, I shall just be a moment to pack up some comestibles for the journey."

Alice watched her Hatter stride off with a rather goofy look on her face. She didn't know where they were romance-wise, exactly. In China, when she'd been sure she had been dying, the declarations of love had come quite easily to her lips. They hadn't really discussed the matter since but for a few secret kisses and a closeness that warmed her to her core. She wasn't sure of anything, and their relationship wasn't the sort that would have an easy label attached to it, but she knew one thing for certain: Hatter was worth it. She would wait as long as was necessary; she wasn't going anywhere.

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Hatter shoved some camping equipment, hatting needles, and scissors into his rucksack. The bag was nearly full, and for a second he debated, thinking back on his list and wondering if he'd forgot anything. His eyes fell on a tiny wooden jewelry box cleverly hidden under a mound of hatting ribbon. His housemates never really braved very far into his room on account of all of the sharp objects lying around and his occasional temper tantrums. Alice was the only one who ever came in, and she did not mess with his hatting materials. His secret remained safe, for the moment. The Hatter picked up the box, turning it reverently in his hand.

The rich wood looked odd against his pale battered and bandaged fingers, a thing of beauty against such uglyness. Rather like Alice and himself. She was so beautiful, so vibrant, and he was- well, mad, as they say.

Hatter slowly pried open the box. A ring sat cushioned on a red velvet backdrop. Thin silver vines wove around tiny diamonds, forming the band, and a larger diamond crowned the top, rising out of a lotus shape. The gems threw light around in a small display of rainbows. Hatter closed the box and shoved it into his pocket. He wanted to ask her, desperately wanted her, but he was afraid.

Alice was _Alice_. She'd said she loved him, wanted him, but that had been in a moment of sickness. He wondered if she still thought the same now, when they were safe and together. Nothing had been discussed, the only moments they'd shared were a few stolen kisses and a familiarity that spoke of something deeper. It wasn't what he wanted, what he craved, but Hatter still wouldn't trade it for anything.

Hatter shouldered his rucksack and headed outside. Alice was worth it. If she wanted him- he'd wait as long as he needed to. As long as she wanted him near her, he'd be there. He wasn't going anywhere.

Hatter grimaced. He just had to keep her safe in the meantime. And with Alice that would certainly be a chore. Danger and mystery followed her around and it didn't help that she viewed such adversity as a challenge to be defeated. The murders filled him with a sense of foreboding. It was nothing like the reign of terror the Red Queen instilled, but it did put a shiver of dread in his belly. Something dark was in store for them, and he had a sinking suspicion that Alice was going to run straight into it.

But that was his Alice. She wouldn't be his Alice otherwise. He sighed and put on a smile for her. He would wait and protect her, it was all he could do at that point.

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_To be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4 Nefarious Plots and Good Deeds

**Author's Note:** _ Thanks for all of the reviews guys! I'm so glad you like my continuing of it, I was worried that it had been too long and that no one would read it. Thanks again for all of the feedback, please continue to let me know what you think!_

**Disclaimer:** _ I own nothing_

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**Chapter 4:** Nefarious Plots and Good Deeds

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The White Queen's castle was much as Alice remembered it: like a museum, a black and white chess museum where the pieces spent eternity in golden silent solitude. Alice supposed if one were so inclined, one could liken it to a mausoleum as it was so very still, and seemed empty until the chess courtiers actually moved which wasn't often. It could be depressing, but to Alice it was a balm. The White Queen's castle was the eye in a very chaotic storm, and one of Alice's most favorite places in the world. She smiled when she thought of Wonderland, usually such a rambling place that made no sense at all, had such a peaceful heart. The White Queen was the embodiment of that heart, and Alice figured her to be more of a queen of hearts than her sister had ever could be. Maybe that was why the villainous old queen had been so rotten: she tried to be what she was not.

The White Queen always seemed to know who was coming to see her, and when, for she was drifting into the garden carrying a massive tray of white frosted cupcakes when they walked up to the gate.

The Queen wasted no time in setting down her tray, and folded Alice into a back breaking bear hug. "Welcome! It's been too long!"

Alice chuckled and returned the bone creaking squeeze. "We saw you yesterday."

The White Queen sniffed. "As I said, entirely too long."

The Hatter snagged one of the Queen's cupcakes and let out a small shriek of surprise when the jam filled center exploded down the front of his brocade waistcoat. Alice laughed. She drug a finger up his front, coming away with a good deal of strawberry jam carnage and was very pleased when her efforts had his pale cheeks blushing madly. Alice popped her finger in her mouth, and Hatter swallowed.

"Yum," Alice said, and turned to the Queen, "What did you put in the jam?"

The Queen winked and sidestepped the question neatly. "Come! We will talk more over tea!"

The Hatter suddenly wanted to spit out the well chewed vanilla cupcake. Refusal to answer meant in all probability spit had been involved, and White Queen or no, spit was just yucky. Alice seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, because she clapped him on the shoulder and just laughed. She slipped an arm around his waist, and the Hatter clasped her other free hand in his bandaged and battered one.

"Don't worry," Alice whispered conspiratorially, "I think her spit is magic."

"Somehow that doesn't exactly make it better."

The White Queen led them through the massive echoing castle, bypassing the throne room and down to the kitchens. It had taken Alice a long time to get used to the fact that the White Queen didn't conduct official business in her official and regal throne room, but rather in the kitchens. Alice wasn't complaining any; not if it meant she got baked goods out of it, even if there_ was_ magic spit in them.

The Queen ushered them into the kitchen which still smelled of vanilla cupcakes and strawberry jam. Alice snagged a large bowl streaked with cake batter and drug her finger through it. Mmmm, vanilla. The White Queen carefully swept her voluminous white skirts out of the way and sat on a stool where the oven and all the kitchen supplies would be within easy reach.

Hatter took up a stand behind Alice, hands folded behind his back loosely. Alice suspected it was because he didn't want to forget about the Queen's habit of spitting in her cooking projects and go in for another taste. Batter of any sort generally had that effect on people; one went in for a taste before one fully considered the probability of salmonella or magic spit. In any case, the solid feel of him behind her had her heart fluttering like a caged bird. She wondered if she could get away with leaning against him. Alice often found an excuse to touch Hatter these days, spending a good deal of her time coming up with good senarios. Little did she know that he plotted the same thing.

The White Queen shot them a very inappropriate grin, as though she knew exactly what her Champion and her Hatter were up to, and was all for it.

Alice set down the now clean baking bowl with a little clatter, clearing her throat awkwardly and trying not to think about the Hatter standing quietly behind her. "So, what's this all about? Who was murdered exactly, and by whom?"

The Queen suddenly looked tired. "An entire orphanage was lured out of their beds last night, and eaten."

Alice felt ill. The Hatter's hand very carefully came to rest on the bare curve of her neck and shoulder. He gave her a gentle squeeze, saying with his touch that she didn't have to do this if she didn't want to, that he would be behind her all the way if she wanted to walk away from the murders and never look back. Alice returned his squeeze, and they both understood that she was going to rush headlong into this whether the White Queen asked her to or not, and that he would be right behind her every step of the journey.

"I ask you to investigate this," the White Queen murmured, "You're still Champion and I have no choice. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Alice said back, "I understand."

The White Queen still didn't look particularly convinced, but she began mixing more cupcake batter as she spoke. "I'm sending you to the beach near the orphanage. I've been informed that the murder scene isn't pretty, and I'm sorry to have to ask you to do this."

"Murder scenes never are," the Hatter pointed out.

"I assume I'll be allowed to question suspects?" Alice asked.

The White Queen nodded. "I'm going to give you the Vorpal Sword to carry, as a sign of my authority. I trust you to solve this Alice. You're…different. You can see things clearly in our world when it's perhaps not so clear for most, and can act when other's hands are tied. I trust you as my Champion to see this done."

"I understand," Alice said, standing.

A relieved smile broke out across the Queen's face like a sunrise after a long dark night. "Lovely! Now, I've packed a bit of a repast for your journey. I've found that when I'm upset, cupcakes go a long way to making me feel better."

The Hatter groaned quietly and Alice pinched him to shut him up. Any gift from Wonderland's White Queen was a welcome one.

The White Queen handed over a heavy leather bag. Alice peeked into it and saw the equivalent of an entire market shoved into the interior. A small country probably couldn't eat all of the White Queen's food in a year, but Alice fully intended on giving it a go anyway: the White Queen's cooking was an uncontested number one, even if she did spit in it.

The Hatter shouldered the new pack before Alice could even get a proper grip on it, and he flashed her a grin when she scowled at him. "I'm being nice, sweet, I believe gentlemen traditionally carry fair damsels' bags."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Not _this_ damsel."

He held it out of her reach. "Well my darling, you are not the proper size to take it from me, so the point is rather moot."

Alice huffed in exasperation, but she was smiling.

"Want some mushroom?" The White Queen asked helpfully.

Hatter pointed accusingly at his liege. "Don't encourage her."

The White Queen patted him sympathetically. "Don't worry, you'll still get to play the gentleman. She's going to have to lug the Vorpal Sword around after all."

The Hatter smiled but it did not quite reach his eyes. He wished that she did not have to carry the Vorpal Sword. When he rescued Alice from her world he had hoped that he would be bringing her home to safety, where he could take care of her for the rest of his life. Instead trouble and darkness seemed to dog her wherever she went. She went from barely surviving the Red Queen's tyranny (twice), to to sickness in her world, and now to the murders plaguing Wonderland.

His gaze met the White Queen's and a sad look flitted across her face as though she knew exactly what he was thinking, but they both knew there wasn't a thing that she was going to do about it.

For better or for worse, Alice was tied to Wonderland, and Wonderland was tied to her.

There was no escape.

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_To be continued..._


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